I'm a Terrible Person

* ZE
* quitlokn
*lost44
*toy 22

Are vanity plates just a cocky new yorker kind of thing?

A car just drove by with a bumper sticker ovbiously against abortion, with a picture of a fetus in the corner, but it was old and worn off in places, so all you can read on it is “ABORTION.”

I don’t know why, but its pretttttty funny.

I mean, it could just say “abortion,” or maybe it used to say “abortion. Get one.”

It probably said abortion is a sin or something…. but we may never know.

I HATE vanity plates. They just irritate me sooooo much. My friends and I have been collecting them, to complain and laugh at.

Recent Stupid Vanity Plates:

• DIZ NEE
• BLAKPONY
• IH8GAS
• IH8SUMMR

Men cannot be trusted.

That is not to say that women can be, but since I’m a woman, I’m going for the men are pigs argument. They just irritate me so much because it’s women that usually get the bad reputation for relationship issues. Men are just as fucked up in the head, if not more than women are.

The other night, two not so bad looking guys spent the better part of the night talking to my friend and I. The one flirting with her made it clear he wanted to be “friends with benefits.” The one I got had a girlfriend. If she was going to let him out in public without a leash, she should have at least taught him how to kiss first.

I’m sick of this bullshit. All the men I’ve been meeting, even just as friends, fall into at least one of these categories:

• hi, i have a girlfriend, but i’m going to flirt with you for 2 hours, make out with you, and see what else i can get from you.
• hi, i have an ex girlfriend i’m still not over. Therefore, you’re always going to be compared to her and come in second place.
• hi, i have 2 kids and pay child support
• hi, i tell my friends how much i REALLY like you, but every day all I’m going to text to you personally is “what’s up.”
• hi, i sleep with every woman i can possibly meet in one night. Then, I tell everyone I know and work with about all the women I sleep with. I especially like to tell the writer of this blog about the women I fuck, then I like to flirt with her and tell her i want to “bone her.” She just LOVES it.
• hi, i spent 3 amazing days with a girl i really liked. Then I decided I didn’t want to ever text or call her again. She’ll get the hint eventually.
• hi, i tell EVERYONE EXCEPT THE GIRL HERSELF just how much i like her, and how pretty she is. Im sure she wouldn’t want to hear this herself, it might boost her self esteem and cause her and I to go on a date.
• Hi, I’m embarrassed of the type of women i’m attracted to, so i date the opposite so my friends think more of me.
• hi, all i want from you is a blow job. You’re just not good enough to kiss or give any pleasure to.
• hi, I’m 30 years old and I DONT HAVE A JOB.
• hi, i’m still in love with the girl i lost my virginity to, therefore, i’m going to constantly complain about being alone and ignore any girl that flirts with me or really likes me.
• hi, i have a drinking problem. Take me home to your mother, she’ll just love me.
• hi, i broke up with my girlfriend a year ago, but i still don’t want her to know i’m seeing anyone new.
• hi, i’m OBSESSED with you. No matter how many times you tell me to stop calling, emailing, and texting you, I’m still going to do it, EVERYDAY. One day, after screaming on the phone for me to stop trying to make contact with you, you’ll fall back in love with me. After all, I don’t have a job or a car, but i have a drug problem, a drinking problem, and issues with my family. I’m your true love. You’ll see that one day.
• Hi, I’m going to make you fall in love with me, then be too busy to ever let you know I’m over you.

Anyway, I wish I could really get into some of the stories, but the internet is an evil place where things come back to haunt you. Just know these people really exist.

P.S. That guy really was an AWFUL kisser.

Yea, hi. I really don’t want to see your nipples through your shirt.

How bout we buy ourselves a padded bra and looser shirts? K?

I hate bad parking. Not that I drive, but i can’t stand the stupidity. This person was no where near the actual parking spot, and decided it was okay to park like that, just because the lot was almost empty.

A woman walked by with her baby carriage. She was wearing a small green tank top that barely covered her saggy tits, and made visible her tattoos, including one across her heart that simply said “PAUL.”

Sean, sitting next me, declared, “I bet you can’t wait til you have a baby huh?”

I shook my head no.

“You don’t want kids?”

I shook my head no.

“A lot of people say that until they get knocked up.”

I shook my head in disgust.

“So you’re the kind of person that would kill it? You believe in human sacrifice?”

I just sat there.

“So, if I knocked you up, would you keep it?”

Did you ever find yourself utterly disgusted with humanity?

Did you ever ask yourself how anyone could possibly be that stupid?

Did you ever get so ANGRY at the backwards things that people do everyday?

Me too.

Have you ever seen something someone’s done and asked yourself “WTF?”

Have you ever laughed behind a stranger’s back?

Have you screamed at a stranger because they were FUCKING RETARDED?

Me too.

That’s why this is here.

To mock you.

To scream at you.

To hate you, and all the stupid things you do.