I wrote this in March, in a personal blog, but it’s been revised and is now available for your viewing pleasure.
What is it about men that they think they are being cute and flattering when really they are being downright creepy?
Im always nice. I try to be nice at work even when id rather cut the customer’s face off with a serrated knife.
So im the only one on the counter for the moment, and this guy comes up and says, “give me half a pound of boar’s head ham.” He’s tall, with glasses and curly black hair and a red and blue jacket. I say, “we don’t carry boars head, but I have hormel on sale if you want to try that.” He replies with a ”yea fine whatever,” and looks like the usual customer with an attitude.
Usually we offer a slice to the customer, so I was going to give him a slice to taste anyway, but he blurts out “can I have a slab of that!?” so I was like “of course” and gave him a piece of ham. There was nothing unusual about that.
Now, is when he turns into some weirdo.
He gets all loud and obnoxious, like one of those cheesy, dorky, next door neighbors you’d find in a cheap comedy show. So picture that as you read the rest, as im in my nice but sarcastic polite voice.
Creep: You know the way into a mans heart is through his stomach…
Me: Yup, that’s why I work in the deli. (said in an uninterested pleaseshutupidiot tone)
The Creep starts laughing obnoxiously, and prattling on and on. Then he gets bolder and starts telling me I’m cute. He keeps saying ”your husband.”
Specifically: “Tell your husband I said you’re cute. No, wait *hahaha* DONT tell your husband!”
After about the 7th time he’s called me cute and told me how I’m doing such a good job and my husband must love me etc, I said something about how he sounds like he’s just trying to find out if i’m married.
Creep: “Yea, yea i am, cause if you said you weren’t married I’d wonder why a beautiful young woman like yourself isn’t married!”
Me: “Well maybe i like girls!” (somehow I always hope playing the lesbian card will discourage a man. I always regret it.)
Creep: Says that’s okay with him, he’s not homophobic, he’s not gay, it’s just not his thing, etc.
So that kept him busy for a while so I could try and finish his order fast and get rid of him… but then he still kept saying i was cute!!!!
He even started using my “name” in the conversation… My manager loves me, so she made me a fake nametag when i asked her to last year. So officially, I’m Rebecca. The creepy guy kept saying my name, and then goes “Rebecca, Becky. Can I call you Becky??” UGH.
Anyway, by the time he left, he’d gotten creepier.
# 1 – when he was about to leave, he said, “IT’S OKAY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN, CAUSE WE CAN STILL DO ‘STUFF’. “
and then,
#2 - the last thing he did, was MOUTH THE WORDS “I LOVE YOU.” to me.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
So my manager had come back by then and even she told me he was definitely creepy and the next day was even telling some customers, “do you know what happened to this poor girl on saturday??”
Then, I was slicing meat for the next customer and i looked up, to ask THAT PARTICULAR customer something, and i see the creepy guy walking past in the background, WATCHING ME. He saw me see him, so he came over, just to say “See? you miss me! that’s because nobody else talks to you, so you miss me!” I was just like, “Yea…. okkkkkayy.”
I went back to working a minute later, glanced up, and i see creepy guy walking by in the back AGAIN. Once again, he was WATCHING ME AS HE WALKED BY. This happened at least two more times after that. And i mean, i understand that you’re in a store shopping and you need to go to different areas for different things. But never once did i see him with a cart or a basket. I just saw him walking from the left area of the deli, past it to the right area, nothing in his hands, no carts, just walking and looking at me every time.
It was way too early for lunch, but i said to my manager “GEEEEEE i think i’d better go to lunch right now. this minute.” She told me i could if i wanted, but i was safer there, in the deli behind the counter. so i stayed…. feeling really dirty and gross. She told me to wash my hands in the disinfectent lol
I was then helping another customer, this tan, tall, very muscled man who was chatting with my manager. She told him about this creepy guy and told him if the guy came back, he had to pretend to be my boyfriend. He said he would. When he left, he said “Okay i’m going to walk around the store.” I actually begged him to not go far. About ten minutes later, i no longer saw the creepy guy, but this tan guy walked by and asked the manager if we were still okay. I can’t even explain how sweet that was. In that moment it seemed really nice anyway.
Unless you’re a woman, it’s almost impossible to really understand this. There’s just something in a way a strange man can say something or look at you, even if he honestly just says “good morning.” Just the way he does it could give you that awful warning feeling in your stomach that makes you just want to run away. And then when a stranger really does say things that are creepy and dirty, that’s even worse. There’s just this awful feeling….. dirty, disgusting, frightened… even if you’re perfectly safe at the moment. The only thing I do is just be friendly. I just placate everyone. To me it’s safest that way. They have no excuse to be like oh well you just yelled at me and told me to go fuck myself and stop talking to you that way, so i’m gonna murder you.
I don’t even know how to explain myself. I just really hate men sometimes.
More Examples:
I was 15 and taking a cab home with my friend, and i had that warning feeling in my stomach. I begged my friend to let me get dropped off first but he refused and as soon as he got out, the Mexican driver he kept asking me creepy things. He even asked me if i wanted to be “a girl” in his new mexican resturaunt. He gave me his phone number, he wouldn’t unlock the doors for me to get out, he wouldnt let go of my hand when i paid him.
At a bus stop in Febuary this random Spanish guy started talking to me and saying things about the weather. I was polite and agreed that Yes, It’s Cold. He then introduced himself, literally made me shake his hand, and proceeded to tell me that he sees me everyday on the bus. He named the bus I ride to work everyday, told me I look so tired all of the time, and declared that my husband should pick me up and drive me to work everyday. Random Spanish Guy then announced if only he had a car, he would pick me up everyday. I don’t think men understand there are boundaries with strangers. Polite small talk is one thing, and announcing your stalker habits is a completely different thing.
Anyway, men are really gross sometimes. It’s like honestly, WHAT THE HELL goes through their heads, that they think shit like this is cute?