Monthly Archives: September 2009

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it’s like jehovah’s witness but for love

Yesterday, sean randomly comes up to me to tell me that the longer he works with me, the more he falls in love with me.

Friday, he followed me into the cooler.

Sean: you know, I love you. And if no other guy ever tells you that, just know that Sean loves you.
Me: (to his manager) Maria! Did you lose a puppy? It keeps following me around…

He’s starting to get like those jehovahs witnesses that are always telling you god loves you, etc. And you don’t really wanna hear what they have to say but they just keep saying it.

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these are old.

Sean: but I thought my puzzle fit in your piece.

This is something he’s said to me before, but now he told the new kid. “Yo, when she bend over, her ass look like a heart.”

Sean: my sex is like vampire sex.

Sean: (stroking my hands while im wrapping packages for the case) Your hands are so soft. You sure you don’t want me to lick you like a lollipop?
Me: what the hell does that even mean??!?

One day sean asked if I was collecting everything he says so I can make a book out of it. “Cause you know im coming for my cut.”

If he only knew…..

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this is from monday.

New vocabulary words I learned from sean: seent, tellt.

Sean was telling me I never say what i m thinking, and I let people walk all over me and use me, but that we should form an alliance, and he would say all the things I can’t. I said what, are we on survivor? What the fuck do we need an alliance for?

Sean: yo, we can call our alliance ‘legos.’ So let’s connect.

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ironically, last night I was watching a movie called “Good Dick”

I really was. It was a cute indie movie about a video store worker with a crush on an emotionally fucked up customer. Although, with the name ‘Good Dick’ I expected some sex scenes. Oh well.

Anyway, sean was telling me about a party, and all sorts of nonesense, so I tried my best to save the gems.

Sean: Just use me for some good dick.
me: laughing to hard to actually say anything.

Sean: im gonna start telling people you’re my girl. Would you get mad? I know there’s some rumors going around about me, but they’re good. They’re all sexual.

I was writing this down and laughing, telling him to stop saying stupid things when im busy and can’t remember them, so he said,

” I can say all these dirty things at night, while you masturbate.”

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call me.

I just left work and sean had been telling me about a party he wanted me to go to.

So as I was leaving work he’s yelling out, “yo, call me! You got my number? It’s 914 504 …”

I wasn’t listening but I was laughing really hard. And the firemen that always shop there and stop and talk to us were there, so they were laughing and saying “I think he wants you to call him.”

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liar liar

The other day I went in the back to get something and sean followed me, of course.

I turned around and he’s right next me, in my face.

“Let’s kiss,” he says.

“Let’s not,” I say as I walked back.

Then I thought id embarrass him so I was telling one of my bosses what he said, and how he followed me like a little puppy, and he yells out

“No, she was like LETS MAKE OUT. And I was like ew no.”

Yes. That’s how it went.