Howzabout i slice a piece of ur face off instead?

I remember this lady, but i forgot what she looked like. Therefore, i was my usual NICE self, until i lost more and more and more and more patience. I literally wanted to throw up on this woman.

 

crazy fuck: i want some roast beef. you don’t have store made roast beef do you?
me: no. i have the one on sale, that’s the store brand and —-
crazy fuck: what’s the rarest one you have? i want to see it.
me: probably the D&W London Broil one. *shows her the roast beef*
Crazy fuck: *scrutinizes it* let me see the other one.

i show her.

crazy fuck: let me see the first one again.

i show her.

crazy fuck: why do they call it london broil? what’s that mean?
me: i read package, theres nothing on it about that so i say,  I DONT KNOW.

crazy fuck: im gonna wanna taste a piece but i can’t swallow it so can you get me some water? can you do that for me? thank you so much, just a small glass of water.
me: yea… *so i take a salad cup, fill it with water from the nasty sink pipes, cause we dont have drinking water, we have tap water, and give it to her*
crazy fuck: i need a napkin. can you get me a napkin?

i hand her a paper towel.

crazy fuck: okay can i taste the first one? but dont give me a whole piece just a little bit.
now, considering i have to put it on a slicer, and in order to get you a piece i have to SLICE it, how do you expect me to get you a teeeny tiny piece? i had to fucking slice a whole piece off, otherwise it’s gonna mess up the meat. i cant slice a bite out of a roast beef. so i start to slice a piece and she starts yelling that’s too big just a bite. i rip a teeny tiny piece off then make a show of throwing the rest of the slice in the garbage and staring at her. She takes a piece in her mouth, chews then drinks water then i see her spit it in the paper towel. (which later ended up on the floor and of course i had to clean it.)

crazy lady: it’s not bad it’s just i can’t swallow it. theres nothing wrong with it. now let me taste the other one? Can you do that for me? oh thank you so much. you’re so nice.

same deal.

crazy lady: can i see the other piece? let me see them together. Now which one is that? Okay, i’ll take this one. *holds up other half of bite of a roast beef piece.*
me: which is that? the first one? the second?
crazy lady: oh it’s the second one.

so then i slice it for her, but she interrups me and asks if i have plastic wrap. we have a wrapping station with plastic wrap, but it’s for wrapping things in the styrofoam boats. it’s not for wrapping leftovers, like you can do if you just had a small roll at home.

i explained to her if i wrapped it in the plastic, it’d be easier if i just put it in a boat first. otherwise, it’ll be hard to wrap, it’ll just be floppy and squashed.

crazy lady: no i want you to wrap it in the plastic. trust me, it’ll work. just do it. can you do that for me please?

so i do it, and it’s a mess and looks really shitty but she wanted it like that.
next she wanted some potato salad or something and made me wrap that in plastic too. luckily that’s already in a container. I was wondering if she was gonna put the shit in her clothes and steal it or something, and maybe that’s why she’s so obsessed with wrapping it up.

 

Anyway, twenty minutes and two items later she was gone. I’ll probably have nightmares for weeks.