Your Mother Didn’t Love You Enough.

Yesterday was incredibly busy, and we tried our best like always. Well, at about 930am, my manager was out back getting our shipment, and i was on the counter helping customers. This older man with a thick accent came up and asked if we had sopprasatta. Yea i can’t spell it. and im too lazy to spell check.

I told him yes, and he wanted a half a pound. Now, the italian meats like copocolla and sopprasatta are like between 12 and 15 dollars a pound. I don’t make the prices, and i dont give a shit either.

So i tell him the price and he said it doesnt matter he still wants half a pound. i pick up a sopprassata that was opened the day before, because we didnt have any before yesterday, and he tells me he doesnt want that. He says can’t he have the one in the window. Im like it’s the same thing.

he keeps arguing, saying he knows what sopprasatta is, and that’s salami i have. Uh, what? first, i dont have a fucking salami that looks ANYTHING like what’s in my mother fucking hand. second, these italian meats always keep coming in slanted. so i get if you think theres something wrong with it because it’s slanted and has casing on it or whatever but hey, i dont make the fucking meat.

besides, the one in the window was slanted too.

they looked exactly the same. one had a wrapper on it and the other didnt. i offered him a slice so he could taste, and see it was fresh and definitely soprassata. my coworker tried to help me out with this guy too.

but he just had an attitude in his gay little accent and kept saying he knew what soprassata was, and i was trying to give him salami, and why can’t he have the one in the window?

well ill tell you why.

it costs 15.00 a pound. Having one that’s already opened, and fresh, and then you making me open another one… means i have two open. How much do we sell of 15.00 a pound meat? Not nearly as much as we sell of everything else. One of them is going to end up staying open and not getting used and then we’ll have to throw it out. so i’m not going to open another one because that will be like 100 bucks thrown out.

Anyway, my manager came over and tried explaining to him that we had just gotten in the sopprasatta, so it was definitely fresh, and that we can’t open another one because that shit is like 15 bucks a pound. He still kept arguing, saying i was giving him salami. we held the two together and showed him, THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME.

but he would not be deterred with his sneering and bullshitting. So she just said she didnt have time for this and let me open another one. I wish he didnt win, he probably ended up stealing it anyway.

So now he’s getting exactly what he fucking wants, and you think he’d be happy right? Well the shit meat comes in a casing and has rope tied on it and so i cut off only a certain part so that way it would stay fresh longer, considering there was now two open. It was no where near where i was slicing. I wish his fucking face was what i was slicing.

Now he yells over the counter “sweetie youa getting the string in there”

NO IM NOT. i know what i’m fucking doing. So then i had to cut more off so he would stop bitching at me. Then I hand him the package, he looks at it, and decides he’s going to stand there and complain to me about the price.

Actually, i really couldn’t understand his accent, and it sounded like he said 799 a pound for turkey was a ripooff. that’s what i got out of it anyway, since he had also bough tthe turkey that wasn’t on sale. my coworker thinks he was complaining about the price for the soprassatta. But either way, he then goes “i can get it at apple farm for cheaper.”

I just looked at him and said “okay.” then helped the next customer. The other people on line were laughing at the guy, saying they can’t believe the nerve of him etc.

Well, if he can get something cheaper at apple fucking farm, and i dont know what that is or where, please, by all means, GO THERE. cause no one wants to see your fucking frowny ass face here. Youre annoying and a cocksucker so please do us a favor and shop elsewhere.

that’s all.