Ah yes, after the long, agonizing winter and many days of rain, today is beautiful. Which sucks for me, a bus rider. Time to bring your babies out for a bus ride, so I can listen to them scream the entire trip, and nearly fall as I try to climb over four baby carriages barely folded and sticking out so that there is literally no where to place my feet.

Even better, I am currently stuck at a bus stop with a wonderful Spanish mother and her A.L.F.s (annoying little fuckers). The two of them are using water bottles and garbage to throw at each other (near me). They are infuriatingly obnoxious and even threw the fucking bottles in the street, nearly hitting cars. 

I can’t understand why you can’t buy the little fuckers an actual toy, even if it came from the dollar store, as your excuse could be money. I also can’t imagine letting a child play with garbage. You don’t know where it has been, what germs or diseases are on it. And then the thing is going to do what all children eventually do- touch their faces/stick their fingers in their mouths. So now their germ covered appendages near their germ absorbing faces, and lots of fun stuff can come from that. Great parenting.

Also, the fact that your spawn nearly caused a car accident doesn’t seem to phase you one bit. Hell, it isn’t your car! So what if someone gets hit by a flying bottle of water, swerves the car into someone else, and causes a tweleve car pile up. Who cares?

I was quickly becoming infuriated with the situation and had to move far away just to attempt to calm down. Interestingly enough, I ended up meeting a man who works at a scrap yard, and we talked for the remainder of the wait and the bus ride. Turns out his girlfriend’s parents are good friends with Weird Al and there’s a picture of her as a baby in Weird Al’s arms. Fascinating.