Category Archives: Disgruntled Deli Girl

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The Customer Is NOT Always Right (in the head)

Last week, someone wrote my work name, “Becki” in the condensation on the deli glass. I thought it was a coworker being a dick. My boss figured it was a customer i hate who had been there 20 min earlier.

Today, i was in the office & when i came back, everyone was talking about me. What got me the most is the lady i despise, the one i call Le Vag, was upset FOR me. She saw this happen.

APPARENTLY that guy had been there again, asked for me, and wrote my name again on the window. Now i know for certain it was him, and i am creeped the fuck out. My boss doesnt think he will come back, bc she said she embarrassed him & told him to stop touching the glass.

This happens to be the customer i hate who would always come to the other store i worked at. He is the reason i stopped wearing makeup to work, bc he’d say things like “oh becki you look really nice today, you have a hot date tonight?” And how my other job must be as a model.

A few months ago someone was helping him and a cashier was telling me about a security job that was hiring. Out of nowhere, creepy guy says, “I’ll let you frisk me.” I wasn’t sure i heard him right and stupidly said,”what?”

So he said again, “I’LL LET YOU FRISK ME. YOU CAN PAT ME DOWN ANYTIME.”

FUCKING GROSS. What is even creepier is that he ALWAYS has sunglasses on, so in four years, i have never seen his eyes. I bet his irises are red like satan’s.

I’m not classically attractive, im super fat and tall and at work i always have a hat and white coat on. So i definitely dont ever do anything to egg him on.

But i bet he goes home and strokes it, like “oh yea im eating this sandwich with bologna that Becki sliced me. Oh yea slice my meat.”

Ive tried to avoid helping him as much as possible, but after this, i think anytime he is near the deli im going on break.

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Nick Cannon And The Ice Cream Sundae

Just found this in my drafts and don’t think I’ve ever published it. Enjoy.

Sean: You know what you should be for halloween next year? A sundae. Talkin bout with ice cream, sprinkles, hot fudge, whipped cream. Remember that day you bought whipped cream? What did you do with it? Ima do some real nasty shit with whipped cream. You already know.

*I decided to write his quote down, and he got excited*

Sean: But listen when you publish this book and they make it into a movie I wanna be played by nick cannon. And I want seth rogan to play eric. And jim carrey to play deli rob. Yo I listen to asian music now.

The end.

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All He’s Missing Is Necrophilia.

I’m pretty sure Sean sits at home sometimes, thinking of stupid things to say, in hopes of me writing it down.

Sean, to his friend/coworker:

“Yo when I be smashing chicks I feel like I’m getting married – I got someone old, someone new, and someone borrowed. You feel me?”

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I stopped saving sean quotes, but here’s one anyway.

Sean came out and sat next to me on my lunch. He started talking at me.

Sean: so you ready to give this friendship thing another try to see if we could get closer to a relationship?

I gave him a blank stare.

Sean: yo, you finish that book about me yet with all my quotations? I forgot some of what I said, and I mean I waste it on you I could be using it on chicks and shit. Did I tell you I been shooting pornos? You kinda remind me of a housewife today. Oh I gotta be getting on my journey.

Then he walked to mcdonalds.

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Lord Matrix, your new fashion expert.

This is from a few weeks ago. Sean randomly mentioned that he was going to start calling himself “Lord Matrix.” He already calls himself “matrix” and even has it tattooed on himself.

Then he was discussing his plans for halloween …..

 

On halloween he didnt end up coming in a costume at all. I of course, came as myself and dressed as i wish i could dress everyday. i wore the leggings and skirt that everyone always teases me about, and a corset top and white button down to cover it up.

i let sean borrow my spiked collar for the morning, and i got  a picture of his makeshift costume. He found a necklace randomly and hung it from his glasses. Used a cane a customer left in the store, and a chain that he’s had before. Also, he used plastic bags to make himself a head band, and started telling people that his costume was  “a sex slave.”

PICT0132

 

    

 

PICT0133

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True Love

This is from about 5 days ago. I’ve been sick, what do you want from me?

Sean: If you give it to me, I won’t just fuck the shit out of you, cause you need something more special. So Ima make love to you.

*proceeds to describe how his dick curves to the left and would “rub your walls” and i’d “feel every inch”

sean: my left stroke is my death stroke

So anyways, currently all the ghettoass shits who work there are mad at me for something. This may very well be the last stupid thing that sean says. As much as i hate him, he is awfully entertaining via this website.

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this is just venting becuse im going insane.

Out of respect for a certain coworker, I never write about him. He drives me insane, but deep down I think he’s a nice guy, so I won’t go on about him like I do with sean.

We’ll call him “Xx”

So. Xx is always complaining to me about how he is single, wants a girl, etc. In order to keep my sanity I attempt to relate and converse.

Xx asks me all the time about my exboyfriend and how long I’ve been single, then says its been so many years for him.
He’s always asking what’s wrong, why can’t he find someone. He wants reassurance that he’s a good looking guy. He wants me to tell him his ex is a whore and white trash.

So I do. Everyday. Because believe me, he says the same thing everyday.

Today he was talking about his ex and asked how long for me. So I told him its been a year since I broke up with my ex, and he assured me im a pretty girl and ill find someone.

He and sean are always telling me I “have a pretty face” (which is what every fat girl is told). They are always saying ill meet someone, etc.
I meet plenty of guys. I enjoy the time I spend with them. They just don’t end up my boyfriend.

I pretended to have a conversation with them, which is when I just repeat what they say and twist it around.

Me: sean, what’s wrong with Xx and I? Why are we single?

Sean: well for you its cause you’re so picky. There be tons of guys that wanna bang you and be your man. Im one of them. Like, I really got to know you and I like you and I wanna be your man.

Me: you just want sex because im the only one telling you no. And besides I want a relationship, not sex.

Sean: when two people sleep together, eventually they get feelings for each other. …. blah blah blah.

Then he said something about hand holding and grabbed my hand to hold it.
Luckily, there’s lots of soap and sinks nearby.

I just think its funny that someone who almost everyday has something nasty and sexual to say to me has the nerve to say he’d date me. Its like, no.

Also, the repetitiveness of this conversation is driving me insane. Xx and sean basically have 6 things to say. They may rephrase them occassionally, but everyday its all they say.

Xx’s list:
1. “why am I alone”
2. When is the cigarette lady coming I need my cigarettes
3. I have to take a leak.
4. What’s xx going to have for dinner tonight.
5. (To me) listing every ugly and mentally challenged man in the store and asking if i d date them, then laughing and saying im a funny girl when I say “fuck no”
6. Complaining about his hours and how much work he has to do and no one appreciates it etccccc. And how he has to clean the oven and the racks.

How could I forget…
7. On thursdays ” one more day till payday. One more day till payday.”
On fridays “did you get your paycheck? Can I go get my paycheck?”

Seans list:
1. Yo im about to go have a smoke
2. Come on we can go bang in the back, no one goes back there.
3. Peters never coming back. (Makes up raps about pete feeding his baby by deaing drugs, part of which goes “eatin sleepin readin shittin. Going fun places every weekend, how he gonna feed that kid? Sellin drugs to feed that baby)
4. Yo E what we gonna do tonight? (Usually involves drugs and sluts)
5. Telling me im pretty and “for real you should let me get it in.”
6.the morning shift doesn’t do any work. Only we do work. They take breaks all the time and its so easy working in the morning. We get smoked at night. (Etc etc. Complain complain.)

Im going insane. I hear the same thing every day. I start repeating the list to other people when im feeling stressed, like ill explode.

Its like become like turretts. Ill say to my manager in Xx’s voice, “xx’s has to take a leak. I need a cigarette. I hope the cigrette lady comes I need my cigarettes do you think ill ever find a nice girl? Arleene snubbed me. She snubbed me. 4 years xx hasn’t had a date. 4 years. Would you go out with him? Who would you rather go out with? Him or him? Xx has to take a leak. Gotta clean the oven and the racks.”

She always cuts me off. I can’t imagine why.

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maybe I should be a phone sex operator?

The boys I work with often stand around, talking, making a mess, doing nothing.

I don’t mean to be bossy but I can’t help it, when I end up having to do more work because they are retarded. They make more money, so I fucking tell them to do things when things need to be done.

So today sean was just annoying me when I was working so I kept telling him to do things.

His retort:

“I love your voice. It’s so sweet.”

Ugh.