Sean shoves his wrist in front of my face today, so I can see his new tattoo clearly.
Ahem.
His new tattoo says “Porn” with a little star next to it. That’s right. Porn star. That with his new gold teeth and fake tattoo sleeves…. wow. What a HOTTIE.
One of my bosses calls this woman “Angel” and I think it might be her real name. However, my dear friend, who works in the bakery, calls her “The Bagel Bitch.”
Let’s go back two years, to when i worked next door in a beauty supply store. Sometimes my best friend would meet me after work and we would take the bus to the movies or something.
On one of these days, Mindsay Mohan and I were giggling at the bus stop and taking pictures of ourselves. You know the kind, the two girls’ heads together and one holding the camera up in the air. It’s hard to get anything else in the picture. It’s clear you’re taking a picture of yourselves, isn’t it?
Well. Unbeknown to us, the bagel bitch was also at the bus stop, and was convinced we were taking pictures of her. As she walked past us on the bus, she growled at us to stop taking pictures of her, and that she was going to call the police on us.
We laughed to each other for a while about that. Some crazy lady….
I guess I didn’t know just HOW crazy she was.
Would you like to know why my friend calls her “The Bagel Bitch?”
From the stories she’s told me, this crazy lady used to complain about the bagels every single morning. The store doesn’t bake the bagels there, they get delivered. So essentially, complaining about the bagels means nothing.
Her complaints alternated between saying that the bagels were “too burnt” or “too raw/uncooked.” No one else could see anything wrong with the bagels, but she insisted on loudly screaming about the bagels.
Also, she took a strong disliking to my friend, going so far as to say she was stalking her, following her around the store to put her hair in her food, and she would scream in the store that she wanted my friend kicked out, to stop following her, etc. My friend was actually told once to stay in the back room until the woman left the store.
Um, yea. My hunny has better things to do, but I don’t, since I’m blogging about you.
Supposedly the bagel bitch is schizophrenic. I’ve heard she used to walk around with a fake cell phone, one that looked like a child’s toy, and pretend to be talking to her “husband” on it. She’d claim she was calling the police when my friend was “following” her.
I’ve seen her around a lot, since i’ve always worked in the area and we both take buses. It’s time to describe The Bagel Bitch. Oh yes, it’s time. We’ve now reached the best part of this.
You see, the bagel bitch, or Angel, if you prefer, is a short woman. Her long black hair nearly reaches her knees, and sometimes when she hasn’t dyed it she has about two inches of pure gray roots. Angel has massively big tits. I’m not talking big breasts like my own, this bitch has got like double H titties. They take up most of her body. She likes platform shoes.
Let’s describe some outfits I’ve seen her in:
- head to toe orange, with FUR pants. that’s right, it looked like an orange shag carpet attacked her legs.
- a cheerleader skirt and short tube top
- head to toe white, including a fur vest and white purse with long fringe
- white leopard print leggings and a variety of shirts.
I wish I could remember more outfits, but they are always outlandish and make you want to gouge your eyes out.
Now that i work in the deli, Ive had more encounters with her. She’ll come and order land o lakes white american cheese, and she’s very specific about how she wants it cut and packed. Then she’ll get some macaroni salad, and she wants half a pound. Once, it weighed at .47. A half pound is .50, right? So…. .47 is essentially half a pound.But no, Angel insisted i make it HALF A POUND exactly, because her husband would be upset if it was not a half of a pound. I put like one piece of macaroni more in it.
My manager is the sweetest lady. She’s friendly to everyone, laid back but hard working, happy, and she likes to sing sometimes. No one dislikes my manager. it’s pretty much impossible.
Well one day Angel was at the counter and my manager was quickly wiping the glass counter with windex. As i was slicing her cheese, i hear my manager say, “good morning” as she wiped the glass near Angel. Then, I hear, “DON’T TALK TO ME” in a nassstttty growl.
Another day, my manager was helping customers on the counter so I could finish the hoagies I had to make. I feel someone watching me and i turn my head to see Angel staring at me and whispering “can you help me instead?” So I did…. not questioning why she hates my awesome manager so much.
And yet another day, my manager was covering the seafood dept, which is connected to the deli. As she was putting fish on the table, she was singing. A happy song, a beautiful voice. Everyone else enjoys when she sings. Angel, at the deli, gave her dirty looks and said to me that she should shut up and stop being so loud.
I haven’t quite figured out how she chooses who she hates and who is “following” her or who she likes. All I know is the bitch is crazy, and I’ve never seen anyone else dress like that.
I do have a picture somewhere, i’ll upload it later.
But, Ms. Yale, at least you’re smart enough to know that already…. hopefully.
I’ve gone through phases with my wardrobe. I went through the ‘i’m fat and only wear baggy clothes’ phase. I went through the ‘i really like this skirt and im going to buy it but never wear it cause i feel too ugly in it’ phase. Now i’m going through the ‘i’ve lost some weight and i’ll be damned if all these clothes are going to go to waste’ phase.
So yesterday I was out of clean pants and decided to wear a skirt i had bought years ago but never really wore, because I’m too self conscious. It’s a bit big on me now, but I still like it, so I rolled it up a little bit until it fit.
I can’t wear skirts and dresses at the deli, so I put a pair of black leggings on underneath to meet the dress code. I can’t wear flats or open toed shoes at work, so I wore a pair of sneakers. I also wore my studded belt that’s now two sizes too big for me and hangs on my hips uselessly, but cute. I paired it with my royal blue Tokidoki t-shirt, since i’m obsessed with TK.
Nothing about my outfit is ‘gothic.’
I did not wake up saying “im a goth. im gonna dress gothy.”
I dressed in a skirt that I love that happens to be black with ruffles on it. Everything else was normal clothes I wear everday.
But for some reason, about 10 people needed to comment on it. I got:
- it must be halloween, cause you’re dressed like a ballerina
- a gothic ballerina
- you’re always dressing so gothic
- takes a lot of courage/balls to dress how you feel.
- it shows you’re a bold, outgoing person
- you really are a gothic princess
ETC.
Mostly people just laughed. I don’t get why though, it was just a skirt. I often get randomly called a Goth by people I work with though. I don’t think there’s anything at all odd about the way i dress. I usually just wear a band tshirt (mainly Alkaline Trio) and black jeans. My hair is blue or purple etc. But it’s just clothes. I’m not trying to be anything.
This is the wikipedia definition of Gothic Fashion. As much as I admire and adore Gothic and Punk fashion, I do not set out to copy or embrace it. I simply buy what I like, and I’m tired of being labeled by ignorant people.
Gothic fashion is a clothing style worn by members of the Goth subculture; a dark, sometimes morbid, eroticized fashion and style of dress.[1] Typical Gothic fashion includes black dyed and crimped hair, bright lips and black clothes.[1] Both male and female goths sometimes wear dark eyeliner and dark fingernails. Styles are often borrowed from the Punks, Victorians and Elizabethans. BDSM imagery and paraphernalia are also common.[1] Some haute couture designers, particularly Alexander McQueen and John Galliano, have been associated with the goth aesthetic.
Cintra Wilson declares that “The origins of contemporary goth style are found in the Victorian cult of mourning.”[2] Valerie Steele is an expert in the history of the style.[2]
Goth fashion can be recognized by its stark black clothing (or hair or makeup),[1] The style initially emerged alongside the early 1980s Gothic rock scene. Simon Reynolds identifies the usual appearance of
| “ | deathly pallor, backcombed or ratted black hair, ruffled Regency shirts, stovepipe hats, leather garments, spiked dog collars, the ensemble accessorized with religious, magical or macabre jewellery (bone earrings, rosaries, pentacles, ankhs, skulls), typically made from silver.[3] | ” |
Reynolds also notes “fishnet stockings, black leather thigh boots, [and] witchy eye make-up.”[4]
Ted Polhemus described goth fashion as a
“ profusion of black velvets, lace, fishnets and leather tinged with scarlet or purple, accessorized with tightly laced corsets, gloves, precarious stilettos and silver jewelry depicting religious or occult themes.[5] ” Researcher Maxim W. Furek noted,
“ Goth is a revolt against the slick fashions of the 1970’s disco era and a protest against the colorful pastels and extravagance of the 1980’s. Black hair, dark clothing and pale complexions provide the basic look of the Goth Dresser. One can paradoxically argue that the Goth look is one of deliberate overstatement as just a casual look at the heavy emphasis on dark flowing capes, ruffled cuffs, pale makeup and dyed hair demonstrate a modern- day version of late Victorian excess.[6] ” Goth fashion is sometimes confused with heavy metal fashion.
this is funny.this is funny.this is funny.
So I can never reallllly view iwannahavesexwithyourmouth.blogspot.com because it doesn’t load on my phone, which is where i mostly blog from, and my pc can’t handle all the media on it. Im using my friend’s computer tho, so I took the opportunity to steal his blog.
It just made me laugh so much I had to make you read it.
One day at work I saw a customer walking by with this shirt on. Word for word.
“For God so loved the world so much he gave us the black woman.”
First of all, using “so loved” and “so much” in the same sentence doesn’t sound right.
Second, why is that socially acceptable? If I were to wear a shirt saying “God gave us the white woman…” I’d be stared at and probably get beat up.
Third, come on, you’re that conceited? Dumb cunt.
I am a procrastinator.
You will be getting old things I was too lazy to upload/ write about.
Be prepared for the onslaught.
Whenever I see a woman WAY fatter than me, and dressed in something id never dare to wear, I feel so hideous. I know im not quite so big, but they look so terrible it just makes me wonder if anyone is thinking the same thing about me.
Like this woman just walked by in a tiny black dress, and all you see is rolls of fat popping out of the sides, and her dress is uneven because her ass is literally the size of a small child.
Why would you leave your house like that? Just wear some nice black pants and at least a short sleeve shirt so no one sees slabs of meat coming out of your bra.
