I'm a Terrible Person

this one regular customer; seems to be in his fifties, gray hair, glasses, vikings coat, etc – always calls me by my name (fake name rebecca.)

he makes a point to always say “hello rebecca, thanks rebecca, bye rebecca, that’s fine rebecca” etc. I hate that.

anyway, since they cut my hours I had 4 extra hours in the morning and decided to put some makeup on. I really don’t wear anything but eye makeup, but I like it to be funky. So I blended purple, blue, lime green, and orange. it came out really well.

this vikings jacket guy comes to the counter and says, “hey rebecca, got a hot date tonight?”

“what?” I said, no clue what he was talking about.

“you’ve got makeup on, so I figured you had a hot date later.”

“uh…no. I just put make up on.”

“I also thought you did some modeling on the side.”

“I wish! then I wouldn’t be here.” I said, but then realized that could sound rude, so I added, “id be home watching my giant flat screen tv or driving around in my porsche.”

I hate that I can’t wear something different or do my makeup without everyone thinking I have ulterior motives. I don’t have the time to do it everyday, so when I do its like, oh myyyyyy look at her! what’s she up to!

ugh. die.

So I’ve never gotten around to writing the biggest thing that “batty” have done to piss me off.

(read old blogs if you don’t know who they are.)

1. One day, when they were fairly new customers still, I was walking past the wife on my way to my break. Since their first major complaint to the store, I had been trying to be super nice to them.

the husband, brian, liked to taste everything, to make sure it was thin enough and whatever.

At one point, he stopped smoking so he started chewing gum to combat the cravings. Just to be a bitch, one day I complained, saying he stopped taking samples, was always chewing gum.

He explained why and promised next time he wouldn’t have anything in his mouth when he came to the deli.

Anyway, keeping these things in mind, as I walked past the wife and said hi, she commented on how she told brian not to chew any gum on the way here, “BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO SEE HIS BIMBETTE.”

I was just like “…what?”

and she quickly corrected herself and said she meant it in the nicest way, because her husband enjoyed coming to the deli and seeing me so much.

2. A few months ago, I had to work. two half days and had no day off. I was getting ready to leave soon and a plumber came to fix the back sink.

he was GORGEOUS.

I was trying to stay in the back and flirt, but the douche bag working with me called me up front to help because he knows I hate Batty.

When I went up front, I was blushing a little, and the husband, brian, commented about it. I explained there was a hot plumber in the back.

he said, and I QUOTE:

“I don’t want to be disgusting, but do you want me to get a cucumber from produce for you?”

um… excuse me?

I just gave him a look. who the fuck says that? to someone you don’t know? you’re a fucking customer! nasty.

ugh.

I talk to everyone at work. I like to be nice, and also I get bored being there for 8 hours a day.

So one of the cart guys is an old retired man who despises the fact that he has to be working there. I usually talk to him, and he always jokingly asks when I’m going to marry him.

he also asks my manager to marry him.

Big surprise, he’s an alcoholic. I’m just assuming this, because he sometimes slurs his words and I’ve seen him sneak a drink or too.

So were going to assume he was drunk on this day:

I went outside for a quick cigarette and didn’t bother bringing a hoodie. As I walked past him, he had the balls to tell me I should be wearing a coat, “to cover your beautiful breasts.”

Not lying. told me to cover my breasts.

its not like I was even wearing something revealing. just a regular tshirt.

ick.