Category Archives: Men. Ugh.

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The Customer Is NOT Always Right (in the head)

Last week, someone wrote my work name, “Becki” in the condensation on the deli glass. I thought it was a coworker being a dick. My boss figured it was a customer i hate who had been there 20 min earlier.

Today, i was in the office & when i came back, everyone was talking about me. What got me the most is the lady i despise, the one i call Le Vag, was upset FOR me. She saw this happen.

APPARENTLY that guy had been there again, asked for me, and wrote my name again on the window. Now i know for certain it was him, and i am creeped the fuck out. My boss doesnt think he will come back, bc she said she embarrassed him & told him to stop touching the glass.

This happens to be the customer i hate who would always come to the other store i worked at. He is the reason i stopped wearing makeup to work, bc he’d say things like “oh becki you look really nice today, you have a hot date tonight?” And how my other job must be as a model.

A few months ago someone was helping him and a cashier was telling me about a security job that was hiring. Out of nowhere, creepy guy says, “I’ll let you frisk me.” I wasn’t sure i heard him right and stupidly said,”what?”

So he said again, “I’LL LET YOU FRISK ME. YOU CAN PAT ME DOWN ANYTIME.”

FUCKING GROSS. What is even creepier is that he ALWAYS has sunglasses on, so in four years, i have never seen his eyes. I bet his irises are red like satan’s.

I’m not classically attractive, im super fat and tall and at work i always have a hat and white coat on. So i definitely dont ever do anything to egg him on.

But i bet he goes home and strokes it, like “oh yea im eating this sandwich with bologna that Becki sliced me. Oh yea slice my meat.”

Ive tried to avoid helping him as much as possible, but after this, i think anytime he is near the deli im going on break.

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Nick Cannon And The Ice Cream Sundae

Just found this in my drafts and don’t think I’ve ever published it. Enjoy.

Sean: You know what you should be for halloween next year? A sundae. Talkin bout with ice cream, sprinkles, hot fudge, whipped cream. Remember that day you bought whipped cream? What did you do with it? Ima do some real nasty shit with whipped cream. You already know.

*I decided to write his quote down, and he got excited*

Sean: But listen when you publish this book and they make it into a movie I wanna be played by nick cannon. And I want seth rogan to play eric. And jim carrey to play deli rob. Yo I listen to asian music now.

The end.

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Lord Matrix, your new fashion expert.

This is from a few weeks ago. Sean randomly mentioned that he was going to start calling himself “Lord Matrix.” He already calls himself “matrix” and even has it tattooed on himself.

Then he was discussing his plans for halloween …..

 

On halloween he didnt end up coming in a costume at all. I of course, came as myself and dressed as i wish i could dress everyday. i wore the leggings and skirt that everyone always teases me about, and a corset top and white button down to cover it up.

i let sean borrow my spiked collar for the morning, and i got  a picture of his makeshift costume. He found a necklace randomly and hung it from his glasses. Used a cane a customer left in the store, and a chain that he’s had before. Also, he used plastic bags to make himself a head band, and started telling people that his costume was  “a sex slave.”

PICT0132

 

    

 

PICT0133

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True Love

This is from about 5 days ago. I’ve been sick, what do you want from me?

Sean: If you give it to me, I won’t just fuck the shit out of you, cause you need something more special. So Ima make love to you.

*proceeds to describe how his dick curves to the left and would “rub your walls” and i’d “feel every inch”

sean: my left stroke is my death stroke

So anyways, currently all the ghettoass shits who work there are mad at me for something. This may very well be the last stupid thing that sean says. As much as i hate him, he is awfully entertaining via this website.