Category Archives: Stupid things that Sean says

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Nick Cannon And The Ice Cream Sundae

Just found this in my drafts and don’t think I’ve ever published it. Enjoy.

Sean: You know what you should be for halloween next year? A sundae. Talkin bout with ice cream, sprinkles, hot fudge, whipped cream. Remember that day you bought whipped cream? What did you do with it? Ima do some real nasty shit with whipped cream. You already know.

*I decided to write his quote down, and he got excited*

Sean: But listen when you publish this book and they make it into a movie I wanna be played by nick cannon. And I want seth rogan to play eric. And jim carrey to play deli rob. Yo I listen to asian music now.

The end.

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Yes or No?

Sean came up to me the other day and asked if I could give him a copy of the book I wrote about him. I was confused, then he reminded me that I always used to write down his stupid quotes and he was convinced I was compiling a book. Since I will never see him again, maybe I should just link him to my website. What do you think?

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I Dress In Black/White Stripes and Explode.

I was cranky one day at work. When Sean came in and tried talking to me I just shrugged, pointed, waved, nodded. He apparently has had a very poor education, as this is what he said.

“What are you, a mine? You’re not talking just hand movements? You’re a mine?”

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All He’s Missing Is Necrophilia.

I’m pretty sure Sean sits at home sometimes, thinking of stupid things to say, in hopes of me writing it down.

Sean, to his friend/coworker:

“Yo when I be smashing chicks I feel like I’m getting married – I got someone old, someone new, and someone borrowed. You feel me?”

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I stopped saving sean quotes, but here’s one anyway.

Sean came out and sat next to me on my lunch. He started talking at me.

Sean: so you ready to give this friendship thing another try to see if we could get closer to a relationship?

I gave him a blank stare.

Sean: yo, you finish that book about me yet with all my quotations? I forgot some of what I said, and I mean I waste it on you I could be using it on chicks and shit. Did I tell you I been shooting pornos? You kinda remind me of a housewife today. Oh I gotta be getting on my journey.

Then he walked to mcdonalds.